He told me he "loved me" through text, that I was the only girl who stuck around for his nonsense. He loved the girl I used to be...the girl who allowed people to walk all over her, the nice pushover...that girl never believed she deserved love. He told me he "loved me" and I laughed, obviously when a person tells you they love you, your immmediate respose should't be to laugh? I laughed because this guy who claims to "love" me and known me for 3 years doesn't even know my favorite color, or how many moles I have on my face, or that I write poems, or that I count butterflies and chase birds. This boy knows nothing about me...the little things that make me,well me. He doesn't love me, and he never did. He was in love with the girl he wanted me to be, and true love shouldn't mean changing anybody. A person does not tell you they love you through a text message. Love shouldn't have to be enduring nonsense, life is short and we shouldn't have to dread the word "love".
So ask me today if I ever been in love? The answer will be no, I thought I did but never was because just like him I wasn't in love with him, but the man I thought he had the potential to be. That's not love at all, that's just a fantasy. Do I believe in love? Of course I do, with all my heart, I believe it exists with every bone in my body. So even though this odd "relationship" didn't work,it doesn't mean I've given up on love altogether. I did love him as a person, but I was not in love with him. I will never stop loving the people I will meet, and I hope neither does he, just because it didn't work out with just me. I've come to realize that I deserve love, and everything sappy that comes with it and I will wait for it patiently to find me and when it does, if it's right I will know. We always have a way of knowing. Until then I'll be on my own and live out my dreams, because I'm young and I have my whole life ahead of me.
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